Thanksgiving is just around the corner and being thankful is this holiday’s focal point. Expressing gratefulness enables the cycle of giving and receiving to come full circle. There are many ways to express gratitude: mindful actions, heartfelt facial expressions and words, both spoken and written. Teaching your child to communicate their appreciation to another is good for both the recipient as well as your child. Understanding that a heartfelt “thank you” goes a long way is a treasured gift parents can give their child.
Saying Thank You
“Say please and thank you.” I am sure you are doing a thorough job reminding your child to communicate these two gracious statements. Expressing gratitude is one of the more important things you can communicate to another person and teaching this practice is a parent’s honor. Encourage your child to speak clearly and look the receiver in the eye when saying, “thank you.” To this day, I hold a dear memory of my three-year old son looking up at me with his big, brown eyes and saying “thank you” for making a Spiderman cake for his birthday. An honest expression of gratitude is powerful.
Sometimes you are unable to say “thank you” by speaking. Instead, you can say “thank you” with an action. A smile, a wave or a nod are also forms of expressing gratitude to another. Perhaps a friend is too faraway to hear you say thanks but they will know your big smile or wave communicates your gratefulness. Using positive body language is another appreciated form of communication.
Thank you notes are gratefully appreciated by the receiver. Young children can draw a picture expressing gratitude for a gift, kind gesture or love from another. There is many a grandparent with a special file tucked away containing treasures like these. When your child shares with you words of gratitude for another person, ask if you may write down their thoughts to send on to them.
If you are on the fence as to whether or not children should be expected to return their thanks with a thank you note, you may find this article interesting. The author also suggests other ways for parents to teach gratitude to their children. Whatever you decide concerning writing thank you notes helping children to acknowledge a gift and it’s benefactor, identifying their feelings upon receiving the gift and choosing a form to express their gratitude is a healthy practice to teach and nurture.
The Gift of Grace
Often, the only regular time a family is gathered together is for the evening meal. This is a beautiful opportunity for expressing gratitude together. This act also symbolizes unity among the family members. Each evening, pause a moment to count your blessings and give thanks. The ritual of family grace shared around the table is one of the lovelier traditions you can add to your daily life. It is a regular acknowledgment and voiced appreciation for the beauty and bounty you enjoy.
Each evening, when everyone is seated at the table, provide a moment for reflection and peace. Express appreciation for specific elements that bless your life: family, food, home, health, friends, safety… It is not important what or how it is said but that you are taking the time to say it. Your reflections and expressions may be religiously based or not. There is no right nor specific way to express gratitude. Your family may choose to compose a regular expression of gratefulness of your own adding specific elements appropriate for the circumstances of the day. Parents may take responsibility for the evening grace or family members may take turns. Make this new ritual your own and just right for your family.
When a new idea or practice is introduced to family life, it may feel a little awkward or unnatural at first. But, persevere. Family rituals, routines and rhythms elevate the familiar and ordinary with meaning. When we take time to regularly pause, count our blessings and give thanks, life becomes that much richer. Expressing gratefulness for the good in our lives fills hearts, young and old, with gratitude.
Practice an Attitude of Gratitude
Research sharing the positive effects of being thankful and expressing gratefulness abounds these days and that is great! Reduced stress, better sleep, improved physical health and healthy relationships are positively affected by practicing gratitude. I believe we all desire these benefits in our life and our children’s lives.
Mindfully practice gratitude and be a living example of this honest discipline. Your example teaches your child gratefulness in the most powerful way. Notice the small things expressing gratitude for them: a warm blanket to snuggle under, nourishing soup and fresh bread for dinner, spying a bird visiting the bird feeder. Children identify the good feelings brought to the surface when sharing and expressing these simple experiences together.
Be in the moment to give a warm smile and sincere thank you to your child for a thoughtful act or behavior. Children remember moments of connection. Give genuine compliments freely. Practice awareness for opportunities to help another such as opening the door or assisting your child when needing some help to get a job done. Children learn by imitation. Expressing gratitude by example in heartfelt actions and words makes you your child’s greatest teacher.
Thanksgiving Day Children’s Game:
Gather children for a scavenger hunt identifying things they are grateful for whose initial sounds spell the word, THANKFUL. Children share an explanation of why they are grateful for each choice.
Example: T: TABLE I am grateful for the table because we can sit around it together. H: HANDS I am grateful for my hands because they help me hold things, like a fork. A: Aunt ALISA I am grateful for Aunt Alisa because she likes Thanksgiving just like me.
The Message of Thanksgiving
The month of November basks in the theme and practice of giving thanks. To annually celebrate a holiday embracing thankfulness and expressing gratitude is a joy! However, raising thankful children can be a bit of a challenge for parents. Our expectations for grateful behavior must align with genuine feelings to be sincere or the act is without meaning.
Thankfulness is in tune with children raised learning, the Golden Rule: “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” This understanding gifts a sense of appreciation for themselves as well as others. Teach this expression and meaning this Thanksgiving. Put it into practice gently reminding family members when teaching situations arise.
Look for opportunities to express gratitude as a family. Fill a basket of food and take it to a shelter the day before Thanksgiving. Re-create your family dinner as much as possible. Invite your children to help shop, load the basket and deliver it with you. Expressing gratitude by serving others is a visceral reminder of how much we have for which we may give thanks.
To begin your Thanksgiving Day meal this year, give thanks to the land and the original indigenous people who lived and still live on this land. Express gratitude for the earth you live on which sustains your home and life as well as the Native Nations who lived in balance with the land and nature at the first Thanksgiving. Acknowledge the food and those that prepared it to feed and nourish all at the table. Expressing gratitude with your family for basic and primary blessings brings hearts together honoring the true history and meaning of the Thanksgiving holiday.
Written by Janet Nicole Meyer for Golden Days at Home.
Over the River and Through the Wood is the well known Thanksgiving poem written by Lydia Maria Child in 1844. It was turned into a song I remember singing as a child anxiously awaiting this special holiday when family would gather together to share a festive feast. This hardback edition of the book is beautifully illustrated with colorful woodcuts by Christopher Manson. It is a classic childhood treasure your family will enjoy for many Thanksgiving Days to come.
